Monday, January 18, 2010

How do you tell the kids what the dogs are doing????

We recently decided that we are going to breed our Albino Boxer, Martini.  She is almost 2 years old and is now in her second heat. 

The whole heat thing was something that we had to learn how to handle slightly a nightmare...I looked online and found that if you have boxers with a stub for a tail, you can actually use Luvs size 6 diapers and they leave them alone.  You are never going to believe it...IT WORKS!!  It is friggin hilarious and every time I laugh I have to make sure she doesn't think it's at her...check out these pictures you's off the hook funny!  I actually give her a cookie every time she lets me put one on so she thinks its a really good thing!

So like that wasn't enough...we found a stud and had them bring the dog over and were gonna leave him for the night so they could "mate".  Earlier that day my husband looked at my puppy (she's really not a puppy but we love her so much and she is such our baby that we still call her our puppy)...he said to her, "Well Martini, I guess you're gonna get laid."  I was SO offended, I could not believe he would talk to our baby girl that way.  How inconsiderate!  Talking to her like she was a piece of meat! 

I thought this whole "breeding" thing was going to be fine...I figured we would put them in the garage for the night and my girls would never know anything.  They were a little confused as to why the "boy dog" had to come over...they thought he was going to be able to tell us if Martini was pregnant or not.  I just really wasn't ready to have the "birds and the bees" talk with my girls at 6 years old girls, if ya know what I mean.

So the boy dog gets here, his name is Boots, and all of a sudden he is "hugging" our puppy!  My girls said mom what is he doing...I turned around and said..."oh, for heavens sake, he is already hugging her he is so excited to see her...get in the house NOW girls!"

I was sweating bullets!

I can honestly tell you that I actually felt a little guilty and still do.  Our dog Martini is our baby and I just pimped her out.  Oh, it kind of makes me a little sick to even say that!

We have researched the whole breeding thing and found out how it works...when he actually does his "deed" in her...they are stuck together.  I truly wish I was kidding!  What have we got ourselves in to???

Well, we believe that the "deed" was done and we are now waiting a couple of weeks to find out if she is pregnant.  I will call the vet tomorrow and find out...but seriously, can't you just use a normal pregnancy test and have her pee on it.  How much different could it really be?  Totally kidding!

Anyway, we were reading other things that I am so excited about...the full term of her pregnancy will be about 63 days and when she is getting close we will know because she will continue to look at her butt in a confused what the hell is going on  manner...LMAO.

Then when the babies are born, we get to help her by ripping the sacs open and cutting the umbillical cord...for those of you who don't know, I was a pre-med major when I started school.  I CAN'T wait for this part! 

I will be blogging the whole journey so stay tuned....for rest of the story.

Good night!

I have added this to the memes True Story Tuesday and Tuesday Toot at Mommy read more True Stories or other toots...hop on over to Once Upon a Miracle and Tuesday Toot Meme.


  1. Hey...visiting from Once Upon a Miracle. Nice to "meet" you!
    This is hilarious!! We actually breed our labs once...and we used to cut a hole in some tightie-whities when our doggie was in heat.
    Can't wait to find out what happens. :)
    BTW, your girls are sooo adorable!

  2. OK when you wrote the line about what your hubby said, I started to snicker. ( I know it must be a guy thing) but when you admitted to pimping out your dog. I just spewed coffee all over my puter screen.

    Great TST...

  3. Hahaha- I love that you feel like you're pimpin' out your dog. Does the diaper have to be Luvs, could it be oh, I don't know...Pampers? Why Luvs in particular?

  4. Oh my gosh. This is too funny for words. I LOVE how your husband talked to the dog : ) and totally love that you are going to be helping in the birthing process. That would freak me out a little I think! SO glad you didn't have to explain the birds and the bees to the girls...

  5. Great story! A little TMI for me! tee hee!!
    Stoppin' by from Once Upon a Miracle

  6. Oh golly - she is adorable! I can't believe she leaves the diaper alone...! I'd be having a heckuva time keeping from laughing all the time tho!

    Good luck on your pups! Can't wait to see pics! Thanks for joining in - I chuckled my way through this :)

  7. Stopping by from Once Upon a Miracle...

    I have a boxer. She's a brindle. Definitely not smart enough to breed. LOL When she was in heat for the first time (and only, as we got her fixed after that), we put her in little girl panties. LOL The diapers are a great idea though.

    I hope Martini is preggers!