Thursday, October 29, 2009

"Which one is older..."

There are so many things that crack me up that people will say to my identical twin girls and they think they are the only person in the world that ever thought it up.  For example, "double trouble", "boy you've got your hands full", "are they identical", etc.  I know the other twin moms reading this will totally know what I'm talking about and then some.  There are many many more things that people say to twins and twin parents, those were just to name a few.
Recently there has been one question that my girls are getting asked over and over...first question, "are they twins" the question right after that one "which one is older"?  We have never raised my girls to know that one is older than the other.  They are 2 minutes apart and they don't know that one is older than the other by two minutes cuz we have never wanted to go there.  I am a firm believer in not comparing my girls at all.  Even to the extent to say at the dinner table, "look at your sister, she is eating good."  We never compare them at all! 
It's so funny when people say, "which one is older" cuz my girls will say, neither of us.  We were born at the same time."  The person asking the question is bound and determined.  It's almost like they HAVE to find something different about my girls before walking away.  They look closer at my girls when they are told no one is older and have to go into the whole thing..."well who was born first".  I always speak up and say, they were born on the same day and they are the same age, neither one is older.  Like that wouldn't be good enough they continue, well ne of them has to be older.  I then have to tell them, for the sake of competition or an argument, they are both the exact same age.  And they really are.  They are 2 minutes apart for heavens sake.
Whats so funny to me is that two friends can be born on the same day, same year and they are exactly the same age and everyone is fine with it, but when it comes to twins, people have to find something different and will actually go down to the last second of when they were born to find something different. 
I have been reading a really good book that I recommend to anyone who is related to an identical twin in someway; married to, sibling of, child of, parent of, etc.  The book is called, "One and the Same" by Abigail Pogrebin.  She is an identical twin who is writing a book about identical twins.  She interviewed identical twins and got a lot of statistics about twins.  It is such a raw insight on how identical twins are.  I highly recommend it!
There is really nothing that bothers me that people do with my girls...stare, talk about them, stop them to find out how they are different, etc.  These things don't bother me because I know that identical twins are fascinating and there is a lot of curiosity out there.  My girls will never know what it's like to not be stared at, talked about, compared.  So the easier I can make it on them, the better.
Happy Thursday!

1 comment:

  1. Thank you so much for mentioning my new book,"One and the Same"! Hearing the reactions of parents of twins means the most because I know you all live and breathe this territory every day. Thank you for taking the time to read it and recommend it. Best, Abigail Pogrebin